I do dumb shit though. If go for more than a few days without weed, I start thinking "I have got to escape this nausea and auto pilot mind set, I cant fucking stand it anymore!" So I'll drink. I have a way of convincing myself that "this will do the trick! I just need a few shots and I'll feel much better." But rarely has this ever been the case. Instead of more compassionate Ill get loud and obnoxious. Instead of chilled and in the moment, I'm a stumbling buffoon. I'll wake up not remember acting like an asshole and have to suffer the pinched glare of my ole lady's look as I brace myself for a retelling of the prior nights embarrassing misadventures. Its awful. I really need to learn to find a better way to cope without my sacred healer cannabis.
For the last few weeks we have been really strapped for cash. So I'm not smoking or drinking. I'm up at all hours of the night and my moods are swinging all over the place. Yesterday We finally get a check we had been waiting for and I'm all over the place trying to score some grass. It ain't happening. Everyone is ether out or gone somewhere. So around 10:00, I'm like "Fuck it" Ill buy some booze. Liz(my ole lady) hates when I drink so she goes to bed early. So I sit there like a pathetic ape and drink alone while I listen to Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier's Smodcast. At about 12:30 I have drank a little under a half a pint of cheap $4 Vodka. (Its piss but its cheap.) Its at this time I get a call from a guy who says he is back in town and can swing by with a sack for me.I had only ever bought from this guy once long before and it was a real small amount and its not like I'm going to say no, so he comes over. He is only here for about 1/2 hour and we smoke a couple bowls.
This weed sends me into orbit. The guy is one of those new age Michigan pot growers that grows mega pot like the other legal weed growers in California. Its REALLY good pot. Only problem is because I drank all that poison I am now bombed out of my mind. For a few moments I attempt to go online but my inability to see the screen makes that a futile effort. So I sit in my chair and drool on myself for a bit. I decide I just need to go to bed. I lay down and after about 10 mins of trying to sleep I go into this this weird lucid dream state. I'm not awake and I'm not asleep. I'm dreaming but I can kinda control it. Its crazy fun. Id tell you the dreams but the further I get from it the harder it is to remember. I just remember something about a skinny Hulk Hogan working as a Housing Realtor trying to find me a house but kept getting denied. Superman was somewhere in the mix as well but I don't remember in what capacity. Eventually after what seemed like forever I fell into a full sleep.
When I woke up this morning, well, this afternoon, I noticed I had taken a felt tipped marker and wrote "POISON SHIT WATER" on the front of the bottle of the remaining Vodka. I think I'm gonna keep the bottle around as a reminder.
